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"Francisco Franco"
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  • Individual oar
  • Bread & water
  • Leg Irons
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Cruises start and end in a Spanish port only.

Trips to Gibraltar punishable by death.

No refunds.


Campo business association, the Federación de Mafiosas del Campo de Gibraltar (FMCG), has expressed agreement with the measures taken by the new PSOF Government to ban the entry into Spanish ports of cruise liners whose previous destination was Gibraltar.

According to Campo press reports spokesman Gree C Diego said this measure by the Spanish Government "is a fair one that compensates existing grievances held by the port of Algeciras in relation to Gibraltar being a better tourist attraction."

Sr Diego said the federation has compiled a report in conjunction with his cousin in Algeciras to study whether it could steal this maritime business from Gibraltar.

Plans include using Greenpeace to attack cruise ships, building another CEPSA air pollution plant, and sinking the Spabunker V in the bay. Tourist attractions were proposed, including 24 hour bullfights, Paella hurling contests, extinct fish spotting trips around the bay, and the re-introduction of the Spanish inquisition.

The current advantage that Gibraltar enjoys of having the only wild monkeys in Europe will be countered by employing surplus PP politicans in special suits. The Spanish Army recently returned from Iraq have the further advantage that although the apes of Gibraltar are tail-less the Spanish soldiers came back with theirs between their legs.

Meanwhile PSOF senator José Coca-Cola said the measure was part of the glorious policy of restrictions applied by successive Spanish governments toward Gibraltar.

"By Land, Sea, and Air we will show those people who is really democratic" he said

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