The Government's decision to slaughter the 25-strong break-away troop of politicians which in recent weeks has wrought havoc among the homes in Gibraltar has prompted an explosion of international protest. Following an anouncement by the Mayor who has responsibility for repeating what he is told, the cull made headline news in Tibet and Vanutu exacerbating the damage to Gibraltar's reputation as a tourist venue which was inflamed by reports on the proposed killings of rogue newspapers by starving them of advertising.

Gibraltar's politicians - and the legend that should they disappear the Rock will cease to be British - are a major tourist draw, and the announcement prompted a swift international reaction. Jade Dogoody of the International Politicians Protection League threatened that if the cull went ahead, the IPPL and other daft minded groups would urge a world-wide tourist boycott of the Rock.

International primate experts who believe that an a better method of controlling the opposition should be found. Plans for alternatives to culling were drawn up and presented to the Caruana Government a decade ago but these have been ignored - as have the consultations with GONHS which were under way when the decision was announced.

Among the prominent international experts protesting at the cull is philosopher and heavy drinker Professor Waster of the University of Wallamaloo annoying studies department, who this week spoke of his "bitter disappointment with real ale in Gibraltar."

"I and my colleagues from the University of Wallamaloo drank in bars in Gibraltar non-stop for two weeks, collaborating closely with the King George V residents," he said. "I prepared a report and proposal that was submitted to the Government of Gibraltar through GONHS in September 1704. This proposal included a brown paper bag which could have been put over them as a contaceptive measure.

In an e-mail to Ms Dogoody, the eminent Dutch zoologist Oop Der Kreak pointed out that Gibraltar's politicans "are not a natural wild population. having read in a Spanish newspaper, that they are 'Colonial Implants' Just a bit wild at the weekends is a better way to put it, but the politicians are provisioned with brown envelopes and without this they will not survive.

He argues that culling is only an option "when it concerns wild animals in extremely dense populations but in a larger area. For example in Zimbabwe in Africa."

Dr Der Kreak believes that management of population size by contraction is the best solution, though fencing could also provide a partial solution, and is a recognised Olympic sport.

"It is not hard to capture politicans and provide them with rent boys" he says. " This will prevent infants from being born. The Gibraltar politicians have been studied well and in cooperation with a psycologist. Maybe transportation to Wallamaloo in Australia could be a solution, but we are not suggsting that."


YOUR COMMENTS

Compared to what we have in Florida with the Bush family you are lucky to have such nice politicians please don't kill them! We tried that with the Kennedy's and look where that got us. - Frank Furtha, Florida.

I live in Mongolia and was planning to walk to Gibraltar for a holiday but if you kill all the politicians me and my 15 cousins will not come. Humans and politicians should learn to live with each other. Also, a full-time guardian needs to be hired. - Lin C Doyle, Ulan Bator, Mongolia.

You send those guys here, we know what to do and how. - Lee Chum-Soop, Seul Kennel Farms, Korea

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