Heres my lovely castle ...

I have a Castle
(All sing along)

The tower on the
right is made from
purest Ivory.

The Official Raving Monster Looney Party
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Since starting PUFA (Palomas Using Funny Acronyms) I have been receiving regular email about increasing the size of my vital organ and making shedloads money from Nigeria.

Rearranging the words in several newspapers whilst sitting in the smallest room I have had a vision. This I am going to drone on and on about until you either agree, or die.

Gibraltarians must sit around a table with the UK and Spain and quietly listen to what is best for them. If you do not, I will stamp my feet and scream REALLY hard. It does not matter that the views of the Gibraltaraian delegation will be totally ingored or that as in the past they will be excluded from certain meetings. You really have to be there to legitimise the sell out.

The UK is actively asking for better relations and cooperation with Spain, and what a few people in Gibraltar think is immaterial, after all there are 300,000 people in favour of fox hunting and they are totally ignored.

Only a regional reappraisal and a redevelopment programme to include the joint efforts of the Campo and Gibraltar administrations (I like big words) working with the European Union can ensure that there is the same level of street crime, drugs, begging and social diseases as presently enjoyed in Spain. Simply building a state-of-the-art hospital and prison is NOT enough we must have people to fill these facilities.

This may be the cut and thrust of modern political infighting on the Rock, but is it dignified and productive? Above all is it fair to people like myself who do not live in Gibraltar and simply wish to critisize everything? As I am now 97 years old, I know everything.

The record is beginning to show that Gibraltarian politicians have become besotted by the need to attack, to destroy and to avoid working with any opposition, whether it comes from Spain or from noisy hooligans protesting in the road in Main Street.

They are completely missing on the natural laws of the universe, which state that the sum of the palomas on the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares on the Spanish and British side, divided by the square root of minus one.

The supreme example of this in human nature is the coming together for a procreative act as against meeting to fight to the death. In other words lets make love and not war, although I do not want to have discussions with the GGR unless they are really really cute.

The Gibraltarians chose to spend a fortune to attract world attention in a public relations campaign last year, when they needed the money badly for holidays in Florida and louder stereos for their new cars. This had the unfortunate result of stopping the sellout.

The time is fast approaching when the voters will have to choose between voting for candiates who will defend Gibraltar and their future or listening to idiots like me.

Vote for the Raving Dumb Monster Reconstruction Party! We believe that we must level the Rock, use the rubble to fill in the strait., then we can link Africa with Europe and make the world a better place.

You just know it makes sense.

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